At National Bookstore

I didn't have much money back then so I ripped off the plastic wrapping of Samuel Beckett's Texts and Stories for Nothing. Before doing it, I thought, who would ever sue a guy for having this eagerness for a book? Knut Hamsun's Hunger is more like it: a struggling writer without any money, doing things, mostly irrational.

If the world is out to get you, I thought, it's perfectly fine.

Morning Colors



Beef salpicado, sunny side up, potato and lettuce with white wine mustard, Heinz ketchup, red and white rice and atchara.

The I'm-not-in-the-mood-to-write writing prompt

Whenever I read blogs I would have this urge to blog something, but with my current state (a college student in his fifth year in college, taking a four-year course) I just don't know what to do next. I've quit smoking for a week and I'm having a goddamn relapse, not that I get seizures or anything, but I am just having an appetite for a really good cigarette. Too much clean air, I guess.

I couldn't pepper this blog with the likes of my current browser tabs, but for the sake of writing something, here:

1. History and the Politics of Nostalgia, which I have yet to read and understand
2. This Earthly Tent - The Philippine Free Press (by Paul S. De Guzman)--I challenge myself to finish reading a short story, since I haven't read anything lately, aside from John Ashbery's Flow Chart, which is the longest poem I've ever encountered, so far.
3. Scotch & Soda is something I came across from Monocle's Weekly; I've yet to absorb the website's layout (which would mean staring at it for three weeks)
4. Adobe InDesign Tutorials, which I still haven't read yet, and is badly needed for my art director-slash-layout stint for a magazine class.
5. Callos a la Madrilena. I'm thinking of cooking this at home, next weekend.
6. Fried Chicken a la David Chang is a recipe too tempting to forget.
7. A certain French actor's name results on Twitter, because I'm such a fan (and I rarely admit this to anyone--I was never a fan of anybody, besides J.D. Salinger).
8. That certain French actor has just published his first book.
9. And of course, this blog.

There. It's almost five. I think I should sleep.

A Lack of Color

A song on loop is a flood contained
in a jar on a flight somewhere
with your eyes holding back
the tears, a story
which left its author.

Epiphany #4


I wish to be an urn.

Catcher in the Rye, page 4

I want to make a website about something I really like, and that would mean great, and I'd probably stick to it for a long time, and then I'd put some ads on it to get some money out of it, just in case people would like it, though the trick is to not put the ads for a couple of months, then when you hit something big as an iceberg you put a sidebar with ads on it.

Then I would be in my bedroom earning money while reading a book.

I've been very impatient about it. Sometimes, whenever I wake up I would think of making a website out of some stuff that's really inventive or whatever, but later on I tell myself it would get in the way of my graduating college. But still I'll make a layout and imagine this thing and that, all those kinds of wishful thinking.

On some days I really want to just get away from college for a couple of months, but I couldn't--for the life of me, I couldn't bear to think of my parents thinking about what a wreck this kid has become. It's not because I think of the CEO-who-quit-college stereotype. But partly, of course, and most especially if the library has so much to offer than my classes.

After ten years I would sign up as a Buddhist, if ever Buddhism would think about getting online.