This cat I found on our doorstep was begging to become a human. She wants to pay the bills. She wants to know what exactly happens when you turn on the TV. "I mean, how do these people come out of the screen?" She wants to know what to do with popcorn seeds which didn't pop after a five-minute show in the microwave. She wants to know how humans can mean no while saying yes, what it means when a man on a couch said something about the government while drinking beer at night, and why we've been scared with black cats all along. My younger sister's a black cat, she said, and aside from getting a better portion of the fish during meals, I don't think there's something wrong with her.