OK Soda

There are days where you're just not conditioned to work. What more with perfect timing: I was cramped at the farthest part of the FX (the notorious UV Express). The sole window on my left has been blocked with sun deflectors.

Two weeks ago, I tried applying for two jobs. There was this competitive friend who was egging me on, asking me if I aced the interview. It's for a faculty position which she used to hold but left after three semesters, and she was very encouraging to the point of faking it. I didn't graduate with Latin honors and I've never been insecure about it, except these couple of weeks. She did have Latin honors. I didn't really care. We both had good grades, and that I know she's had a lot of issues with friendships because of her ultra-competitiveness.

All these issues I refuse to disclose here stem from my weaknesses, regrets, failures. There's no such thing as a new life right now. If there's an idea of jumpstarting a new career, I don't feel like doing it. I wanted to maximize my time, to just don't rest and do everything I can. I've tried polyphasic sleeping patterns, interstitial reading, French lessons during the commute (podcasts included), part-time writing jobs in between night-shift jobs, but I always forget that my life is not just about myself anymore. I have a son and a wife and I have to prioritize them too, but there's something wrong with the entire situation. I feel like I've jettisoned everything unnecessary to keep things my life afloat--jettisoned almost everything except books, writing, food, atheism, and my job. There are occasional meet-ups with friends. I've never listened to music that much, nor have I watched any film at all. I've abstained from alcohol and drugs for the longest time (but that's because I've just graduated from college, so this is purely circumstantial).

I ended up seeing these various OK Soda coincidences / testimonials, and I suddenly feel OK.