My dying interest with films started when I wanted to write an essay for Catfish. Reviewing a film is all about the perspective of a reviewer, tagging along a number of limitations, discrepancies and imperfections. In the essay I was writing I was trying to talk about the entire film, with all the angles I could get, that as I added more and more arguments to my statement on the unreliability of the Internet (whatever that meant), it lost sense. It wanted to talk about the whole world, I found out. A world I need to make sense of, and a world which needed to be cemented with layers of meaning, theory, what-have-you.
Another problem is that the essay wanted to sound academic. My knowledge of film theory, which back then wasn't even short of calling it knowledge, has been falling apart in recent months. Without my knowing it, I've already dismissed theory as something only applicable to musings on bus windows, and other than the fact that it has shaped the way I perceive and write and philosophize about things (again, as big a word as theory), I knew it won't really help me get through the mundane. The computer screen becomes something else with theory, and the last thing anyone wants to think about while working is a transcendental computer screen.
I guess I have to rest my theory for a while, even if it means shelving half of my college degree.