American Beauty

These kinds of movies never fail to put me in a state of yearning. It's what made me quit watching any kind of movies. The human impulse to identify oneself, and that overwhelming perception of lack make us human: we know we're flawed, and we're leading disastrous lives, and these kinds of movies make us aware of what our lives could be, if we only let the chips fall differently. They are alternate worlds which unlike novels (but not short stories, and not especially by Frederick Barthelme) can overwhelm you in an hour of watching. One cannot help but identify, overanalyze, and conclude things. What if I smoke again? What if I found a scholarship in Dresden? What if I had a rare disease which gives me five years, max? What if I sold everything I own for a hair transplant? (Fat chance. I'd rather be groovy with a wig.)

As always, my appetite yearned for a midnight snack like grilled cheese sandwich. I typed this while soaking my feet in warm water and baking soda, hoped that I won't stink in the office.