I'm sorry. It's virtually impossible to stay away from social media because that's my job. I'm paid to do just that: monitor Facebook and Twitter accounts every day, even during the weekends. A day without access to the Internet is unthinkable. I'm paid to not miss out on the latest hashtag trends or the newest Facebook features. Just when will self-help material for social media professionals proliferate? If there's one job where the use of social media is strongly obliged and incentivized, it's  that of a social media professional. You're licensed to use Facebook all the time. Yet the job is widely misunderstood because, to be honest, it's not as easy as being logged in on Facebook all the time. The only feature that has kept me from going nuts is the option to disable notifications: no WhatsApp messages from my Hong Kong-based boss, no urgent pings from Facebook chat, no DMs on the corporate Twitter account. Instagram is cute. Snapchat is entertaining. Soundcloud is amazing. I'm glad I don't have any reason to go back to Tumblr. I could go on and on... But it's still at the back of my mind, one swipe away, these notifications that kept on piling up. Most often the lines between work and play is extremely blurred. I have my Mom's old iPhone now, and compared to a vintage iPod touch, this gave me more apps to choose from. I initially thought it was heaven-sent--I imagine all my backlog on reading the older New Yorker issues would magically disappear--but it gave me tons of options: not only can I read all those older issues, but there's a lot of magazines to read on: Little White Lies, TIME Magazine, El Pais, Le Monde, NME International, Kenyon Review, MIT Technology Review, New York Review of Books, Pitchfork, Lucky Peach, you name it. I haven't read a single page from Austerlitz in months. I've never used a DuoLingo app in five straight days. What have I been doing?